Continuing the theme of kissing this morning and what makes a woman sexy.
A question first for you, though, why are so many of you being all coy about your private messages?
I think perhaps you’re embarrassed to discuss kissing and sexiness publicly on the inter-webs and want it to be kept between us? I get it.
My friend Sporty Doc asked what else the survey turned up last week about what men find sexy in a woman, other than her brimming-with-promise natural smile.
The brimming-with-promise bit is the secret sauce here. Guys want to feel desired, right?
Guys, if the woman you love is looking deep into your eyes like you’re a piece of Lindt Raspberry Intense she wants to devour, is that not the happiest feeling in the world for you? If not, what is?
I’m not a betting woman but I’m tipping yes and my highly scientific survey would agree:
“Just look at me like you want me.” said one long married man;
“What’s the difference between feeling sexy and alluring, and having sex?” said another insightful married man;
“Some flirtation when there isn’t any time, plus a rain check. Nothing like some positive anticipation,” third married man.
Ok so my data is more empirical than scientific, but is there a theme emerging here?
A few weeks ago I had drinks with a girlfriend and asked her when she last flirted with her husband. She looked blankly at me before a horrified expression passed over her face like a slow-dawning cloud. Let me take you off sideways for a moment, she runs a very successful professional business with more than forty staff, has just completed a second round of capital raising and has pre-school twins. It was a shitty, guilt inducing question to ask a busy woman, but I asked anyway because it was that kind of conversation and I’m insatiably curious about taboo topics, as you’ve probably worked out by now.
We were in fact, originally discussing men in the workplace, the Heroic Path, and how men are finding the slow gender rebalancing movement is affecting them but this was related.
“I can’t remember,” she said, about the flirting. We had another sip of sauvignon. “Mmmm.”
“I miss it.”
And we moved back to the Heroic Path. More on that later, watch this space on the blog.
The next morning this was the message from her, “my husband says I can go out for drinks with you anytime I like, he’s loving the flirting, I haven’t forgotten how – woohoo!.”
Sometimes I think we women lay off the flirting because we’re too tired to deliver on the goods if it all gets going. Or we can’t be bothered; truth be told, we’d rather lie in a hot bath or just go to sleep. Guys tend to stop because they fear rejection and blue balls. Is that right?
But flirting is SO much fun, try it today guys and girls and see what happens.
Oh and one other thing, you haven’t forgotten how, have you? Not really? If so you’d better let me know and we can ask the Brains Trust for help. Anonymously of course.
I’m off to White Rabbit Gallery now to see the Paradise Bitch exhibition, Chinese anti-culture and dumplings.