I saw this on the news last week:
Yelling “Oh God you can’t be serious,” at the tv, I pulled my best pussy bum face in horror because it’s time to start thinking about presents for everyone, driving teens to and from parties at silly o’clock, and wondering whether we have enough chairs for everyone who inevitably descends onto our happy household wanting to sit and be fed. Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa la la la la la la la, t’is the season to be jolly….etc. Oh sod off. Too much pressure.Crochet pussy bum face – thanks to Insta @MsNaughtyCorner
Every year around 23 December when Mr Lucas asks me what we’ve bought/are going to buy the boys for Christmas, I resolve to next year have all my Christmas shopping done before the end of October. I’ll pick up bargains in the sales throughout the year and have them all beautifully wrapped and labelled by 1 November. Whoops.
Thankfully, the approaching hysteria does have one benefit, for the next 54 days, every time I’m asked “Muuuuuuuuum, can I have a……,” I can say “put in on your Santa list,” instead of engaging in a 32 minute debate about why we’re not going to buy a brand spanking new gadget, new computer, lime green run faster swish boots with integral flouro socks, or a sack of FIFA coins. These debates usually end up with me roaring “because I said so, now shut up about it” then spending the day feeling bad about losing my mummy shit.
Kids will ask the same thing again and agin until they get the answer they want, it’s as if they deleted the first, second and third version unread. If we don’t answer the same question a second or third time time because we’ve ALREADY GIVEN THEM THE ANSWER we can reportedly say “asked and answered.” How simple. It’s a lawyer technique I’m told, although I’ve never seen Alicia do it on The Good Wife so I’m dubious.
Try it and let me know if it works. I’ve had mixed results..
This Christmas, I’m dreaming of simple menu, easy gifts, lots of time by the pool and on the beach. One year my sister in law who is the other Mrs Lucas, and I decided to rebel completely and do an Indian menu. Everyone brought a curry and we all sat around and grazed from the crock pots. The Mrs Lucases giggled and guzzled, the kids thought it was funny, the husbands ate butter chicken and rogan josh and drank red wine.
One member of our family was not so impressed and kept asking where the ham was
Personally I’m over the pressure and expectation of Christmas, I want to do away with the whole sit down, eat and drink too much thing and do something else altogether. Go hiking perhaps. Going skiing would be awesome but rather too much moolah for someone who’s just given up corporate life.
What do you have planned for the big festive season?
What would you do differently if you could?