Alright People, this is a message from the Relationship Council. The How we do Life blog, (that’s this one) has declared today officially “Flirt with your Partner Day” and tonight you’re going to bust out five totally smooth sexy moves.
If you’re already toasting your toes together on a regular basis, you have no need of this handy helper, but in the spirit of community service do feel free to share some of your tips in the comments below for the hapless amongst us who have to work a bit harder.
At the other end of the scale, even if you have a bazillion kids and Satan for a boss, it’s possibly all going to hell in a hand basket if you don’t flirt with your one and only, unless you’re both pillars of salt.
The point is, it’s so easy to let all the sweaty stuff go because we’re just too busy, or too tired to initiate anything we think we don’t have the energy to finish, but you might even get into it once you start and there’s nothing like some sweaty fun and a dose of endorphins to help you deal with work stress, FIFA or Thomas the Tank Engine on repeat.
Men and women connect much more easily over physical intimacy as well apparently, right? Do you agree, yes? So here we go….
Talk for ten minutes
Really, is that all? Yes, it is.
This is the tough bit, turn off ALL electronics, yes even the smartphone and the sport report. Just for ten minutes and everything else can wait.
Sneak off, find a quiet spot on the couch, lock yourselves in the bathroom, hide under the stairs, stand on the front step; get creative.
Men generally prefer to talk side by side; women face to face. Let’s not worry about facial orientation, just do what works to get conversation going.
Oh, and work or kids are off limits for conversation.
Lie in bed and stroke each other
Naked. There are a few simple rules; no words, silent eye contact only and touching naughty bits is off limits. I know, I know, you guys are yelling silently at the screen “WHAT? Is she for real, I want naughty bits….”
Settle Petals, I’m deadly serious. Get back to some good old fashioned teasing. If it goes somewhere later, you have a bonus, if she falls asleep you truly won’t die from blue balls, and she’ll love you just a little bit more in the morning; maybe.
Send your partner a racy text message. Now.
Do it now, go on, even if you’re in the house together.
One of my more honest male readers told me the key to sending him gaga is, “Some flirtation when there isn’t any time, plus a rain check. Nothing like some positive anticipation…” We ladies love a little tease too but ease on the sleaze. We like subtle titivation and please, no dick pics unless we actually ask for them.
It’s not awkward, we know what’s going to happen and anyway, neuroscience has shown oxytocin levels, also known as the feel good hormone, shoot up after twenty seconds of hugging.
Try it, hug deeply for at least twenty seconds and feel the rush, It’s like a small standing-up orgasm, only more discreet.
Confess embarrassing moments
Tell each other something funny they don’t know about you. Humour connects us and helps us feel human. How about that embarrassing moment you got busted by your mates lip-syncing to the Bee Gees in the eighties?
Come on you can think of something utterly self-deprecating. We don’t need to know about the time your girlfriend…..never mind, let’s keep past relationship glory moments out of it – jealousy is a feisty beast.
Anyhow, I don’t want to know how you went (well I kind of do because I’m a writer and it makes good stories) but it would be a bit weird.